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Friday, June 24, 2016

An Interview with Kiki Cristatello

To celebrate the publication of my third novel, The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Gods (the sequel to Ye Gods! A Tale of Dogs and Demons), I'm posting character interviews for the nine days leading up to the July 1 release. I'm also GIVING AWAY BOOKS!

Yes, you read that correctly. I'm giving away one book each day until July 1. All you have to do to enter your name in the drawing is to stop by my website at and send a message via the contact page. Your message comes right to my email box, so no names or email addresses and comments posted on the page, and no one else will get their hands on your contact information to spam you with offers. I start fresh each day, so if you enter but don't win, be sure to stop back the next day and try again.

So, on to the interview! (And scroll down to see the interviews with Sra Milagros Hernan from 6/22 and with Carmen del toro from 6/23).

Introducing Kiki Cristatello
Today I'm talking with Kiki Cristatello, our youngest cast member at 16. Kiki seems to be over her obsession with the occult: she's given up her black hair dye, nail polish, and heavy eyeliner and is back to her regular blonde haired, freckle-faced girl next door look.


LMH: Thanks for joining us, Kiki. Why don't you tell us what you've been up to in the two years since Muggle die--Sorry, I mean, since the end of Ye Gods!

Kiki: Seriously? Why does everyone think they have to tiptoe around that? I mean, he's been gone for two years. You all treat me like I'm still a kid who needs to be coddled. I'm sixteen you know. And starting college--that's two years ahead of schedule if you care to do the math. And I landed a work-study position in the marine science department. I'm like the only freshman to get one in like forever. You know, freshmen usually get some menial gopher job in an administrative office. Not me. I'm going to work for Dr. Raines.

LMH: Oh, okay. I didn't mean to offend you. Congratulations on the job with Dr. Raines. It sounds like you're over Muggle I guess, and as I said in the introduction, I take it the new natural hair color means you're over your magic fetish? No longer waiting for your letter from Hogwarts?

Kiki: Ha. Ha. You're so funny. I do understand what fiction means and know there's no Hogwarts. And we all know there was no reason to "get over" Muggle. The dog will return. He always has. He was Paco, and before that, Toby. He never really went away. Not completely. He was just on a...hiatus. But now he's back and wait 'til you see him, er, her, he's in a she body, so I guess he's a girl, or at least Chewy is a girl, but I'm not sure if that makes the god a girl, or a boy in a girl's body.

LMH: Kiki, can we get--

Kiki: Would that make him a transvestite? I should ask someone about that. I don't think I know any transvestites, but I do know a gay couple. But I know that's not the same thing, but I should ask my friend--well, you know them, too. I mean, you do if you've read Ye Gods! Although we didn't actually meet Eddie's boyfriend, Rafi. Wait 'til you meet--

LMH: Excuse me, Kiki?

Kiki: --him. O-M-G, he is sooooooo hot. Eddie is wicked lucky. And he's sweet and you should see how good he is with all the animals. Especially Chewy. She just---

LMH: KIKI! I hate to interrupt, but can we get back to the interview?

Kiki: Sure. It's your gig. What's the next question?

LMH (checking my note cards): Damn. OK, continue. I was going to ask you about your friendship with Rafi.

Kiki (with a shrug): He's just awesomely sweet and a hottie, and everyone loves him. All the readers will too, I just know it. That's all. I'm done. Next?

LMH: That's all I have. Any last words?

Kiki (sniggering): Oh boy, do I ever have the last words. But, you'll have to read The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Gods to see what they are.

LMH: Thank y--

KIKI: Oh, and one more thing...I have to give a shout out to the president of my fan club. Did you know I have a fan club? Yep, I do. So, hola and abracitos---that's hello and hugs in Spanish, for all you monolingual-types--to T. Francis Sharp. He's also the author of Second Dead. You should check that out too, especially if you're into the whole zombie apocalypse thing, with undead, female teenagers that kick ass...can I say that? I hope so because I just did, and--get this--a mystical cat!

Now it's time to head over to my website and send a message via the contact page to enter for today's chance to win a free book! Congratulations to yesterday's winner, Bob Sanchez!


  1. We here at the Kiki Cristatello fan club are pleased at the shout out.

    1. I must warn you, having a fan club is making Kiki's already inflated ego just that much bigger. I'm worried it will get her in trouble in "Ye Goddess!"