DECODING THE MUGGLE RULE BOOK

Do your dogs (or cats) seem to play by their own rule book? Mine does and I really wish I had some way to decode it. Muggle seems to have a very detailed and specific set of rules he plays by and all I can equate it to is obsessive-compulsive disorder, OCD, a la Tony Shalhoub's Monk character. Can a dog have OCD? What are all those rules about? I'd love to decode Muggle's behavior to understand the rules he plays by!

Here's a look at Muggle's "normal" behavior throughout the day. Tell me what you think.

The morning routine.

6:00 a.m. Climb into bed. Morning rules: lay down exactly 1-arm's length away so the food-lady can pet me, but barely. No snuggling. If food-lady doesn't stretch out her arm and pet me, paw at her until she does. If she moves closer, give her "the look" and move to the foot of the bed.

The Look: "You want to cuddle? Really?"

 

7:00 a.m. Breakfast time. Paw at food-lady, then get down from the bed and stare at her. If that doesn't get her up, make "grrff" sounds until she's awake. Go outside to pee before breakfast. Breakfast rules: Refuse to eat until food-lady gives me an appetizer. If it isn't good enough (beggin' bits or cheese) spit it out, give her "the look" and walk away. Do not begin to eat my food until the cat tries to get at it.

7:30 a.m. Pace in front of the door and "grrrfff" until we walk. If food-lady doesn't respond quickly enough, pace faster.  

The Look: Where's the breakfast appetizer?

The walk rules: Stop at the end of the driveway and search both ways for biscuit-lady and biscuit-man (a couple in our neighborhood who carry dog biscuits with them when he runs/she walks.) Go in whichever direction they are. If they aren't out, turn right. (Always go to the right for our morning walk unless we can turn left for a biscuit!)

When we return, sit in front of the treat cupboard giving food-lady "the look" until she gives me a treat (dentabones or jerky are the only acceptable post-walk treat; if she tries to sneak in anything else, spit it out, give her "the look" and walk away.)

9:00 a.m. Snuffle through the toy box, find the correct toy, and wave it in front of food-lady until she plays. If she ignores me, paw at her. Give her "the look" and wave the toy some more. If she doesn't play "right" sit and give her "the look" then paw at her and try again.

Rules of morning play: Use only the toy I bring to you--no other is acceptable, even if it was my favorite toy yesterday. Today's toy is the only one I play with. No tugging too hard or I will drop the toy, go to my pillow and pout. No tugging too soft or I will drop the toy, go to my pillow and pout. No playing in any room other than the family room.

9:15 a.m. Stop playing, no matter what we're doing or how much fun it is. Lay down. Ignore any further attempts by the food-lady to engage me in play.

9:15 a.m. Play time is officially over.

The evening routine.

5:15 p.m. Start pacing and "grrffff"-ing to let them know it's dinner time. Dinner rules: Refuse to eat until I get a beggin' bit. Pace in front of the door and "grrrfff" until we walk. Always go to the left for our evening walk.

6:30 p.m. The food-people's dinner time: stare pathetically until I get to sample their food. Spit it out unless it's steak or seafood. Chicken is sometimes acceptable, but not always. If they try to feed me anything else, give them "the look."

The Look: You expect me to eat that?

 

When the food people attempt to watch television, jump on the couch between them. Paw and grrrff until they pet me. But, if they call me onto the couch, ignore them.

9:30 p.m. Bedtime. Grrfff and pace until the food-people turn off the television or computers. If they don't, pace back and forth from them to the stairs to let them know. If all else fails, give them "the look" and bark. If they have other humans visiting, bark at them until they leave or go to bed.

The Look: Are you still here?

Bedtime rules: Wait patiently while the food-lady prepares for bed. If she forgets to put my water dish down and give me a treat, growl at her. After my treat and water, climb into bed to hump "girlfriend" (stuffed alligator toy) for 5 minutes, no more, no less. If girlfriend isn't already on the bed, drag her to the stairs and grrfff at food-lady until she brings girlfriend into the bed. Lay between food-lady and food-man and demand pets. Paw at them if they don't cooperate. When food-man turns out his light, get off the bed and go into my crate to sleep.

Repeat.

Muggle's schedule doesn't vary by much from day-to-day. Even when we went to Chicago, he stuck to his routine, except everything was 1-hour earlier (by the clock) because of the time zone change. He's a great traveler and adapts well to new environments, but don't mess with his routines or he gets twitchy.

He's also a good host when other dogs visit his house. As feisty as he can be on a leash or at the agility field, when other dogs come to our house, he's very accommodating. He lets "company" eat and drink from his bowls, play with his toys, and wander around his house. He has pulled his favorite toys out of the basket and hidden them in the sofa when other dogs visit, but he's pretty polite about sharing the others.

Muggle with his favorite houseguest, Dagan.

As for his toys, he can get twitchy about where they are--we must follow the toy rules. He has a toy basket downstairs and 3-4 toys in the bedroom upstairs. If the upstairs toys go down or vice versa, he will frantically search the toy basket, taking inventory, then move the toy to where it belongs.  

Muggle also has fetch rules. He loves to play fetch, but only at the agility field, in the family room, or in his grandparents' yards. If you throw the ball for him anywhere else (including our own yard!), he'll get it and take it into the house or to the car. He won't give it back to you. When he's done playing fetch, he'll bring the ball back to you and drop it, and walk away. If I throw it then, he'll give me "the look" and walk away.

Fetch is okay at Grandma Hinkey's house.

I know we've somehow instilled these routines in Muggle, but even without the schedule, he seems to have his own set of rules for how things get done. I'd love to have a chat with him and see what he thinks about all this, to somehow decode the Muggle Rule Book and see how and why he's such a very orderly dog. I'm sure Matt would like to know how he can get some of Muggle's orderliness to rub off on me, too.

What do you think? Do we have an OCD dog, or just a spoiled one? Do your dogs have unusual rules, routines, or behaviors they play by? What do you think your dog (or cat) would tell you about their routines if they could?

The Look: Are we done here?

 

Just Braggin' on My Dog

Let me apologize in advance to all you readers who thought you had the cutest, coolest, best dog in the world...I can't let you go on holding that delusion any longer because the fact of the matter is, you don't. I do.

Muggle (Photo by Matt Drobnik)

Yes. Look upon my doggy's divine countenance and weep, for no matter how adorably, loveable, cuddly ALL dogs are (I really have never met one that wasn't cute), Muggle is the awesome-est and cutest!

Many of you may know Muggle's story, but if you don't, you can go to his website, The Muggle Chronicles, and read about his--and our--amazing journey from discarded, to rescued, to agility dog.

Some of the things that make Muggle one-of-a-kind:

1.  He doesn't run to greet us at the door. When we come home, he maintains his dignity (and his spot on the sofa) and gives us a Joey Tribbiani nod of the head: "how you doin,'" and patiently waits for us to come over and pet him. He has a bit of Eey-ore in him about the whole enthusiasm thing. Most dogs are excited to be invited onto the sofa, chair, bed, car...not Muggle. He'll slowly inch his way to the seat, look up through his eyebrows and sigh, then slowly lug himself up alongside you. "If I have to...."

"How you doin'?"

2.  He's neat and orderly. I'm not, so I figure this is a good thing. Muggle has upstairs toys and downstairs toys and gets absolutely neurotic if they're out of place. He'll pace and fret over his toys, poking his nose into the basket and under furniture until he's certain something is missing, then he'll rescue it and return it to its rightful place.

Looking intense through the tire (Photo by Matt Drobnik)

3.  He talks to us. If you've ever seen Muggle run agility, you know he's a talker. He grunts and growls, and snarls and snarks the whole way through the course. Today, I found out that could be me. When I give him clear directions, he gets quieter. I did see something similar when Matt ran him and did some incorrect handler motion--Muggle would turn around and give him what-for before doing what he was supposed to do. But, he'd still do the right thing. That could explain how we've gotten as far in agility as we have. Because of Muggle, not me. I know he far outperforms me in the ring.

4. He's a grandstander. As Ginger said, he is my dog. He does well when he has an audience. He doesn't do particularly well at agility class, or when we practice. But put him on a course at a trial, with an audience, and Muggle will do things I'm positive we haven't learned, trained, practiced, and certainly shouldn't be able to do given how much (or little) we actually do train and practice! And he only does that when he has an audience! Imagine what a little more effort (on my part) could produce?

Eey-ore says, "I won some ribbons, oh well..."

5. He's OCD in a really funny way. Aside from the toys being in their right place, Muggle is a schedule- and routine-driven dog. He likes things to occur in the same way, all the time, every time. So, when 9:30 p.m. roles around, he likes me to head upstairs and get ready for bed. He waits patiently through my part of the routine, knowing the last thing I do before crawling under the covers is give him a biscuit. Then, he's like a machine: eat, get a drink of water, get the gator (his squeaky toy), and come into bed. He plays with gator for 5 minutes, then lays down between me and Matt while we watch TV or read. When Matt turns out his bedside light, Muggle goes downstairs (we have stairs for him to get on/off the bed) and into his crate. At that point, he gets really anal about his schedule. It is now BEDTIME. We do not mess with bedtime. If Matt or I talk after Matt's light goes out (I can still be up reading with the light on, doesn't matter, it's all about the Alpha-Matt) Muggle dives us a "grrrfffff." He's the chaperone. There is no talking, kissing, or moving after Matt's light goes out. Sometimes we make kissy noises just to mess with the dog. Poor Muggle goes crazy and runs back up the stairs into the middle of the bed to get between us and break it up.

He's pretty darn funny. And adorable. And when he gets to the agility field and knows he gets to run, he gets excited and happy. Regardless of ribbons or Qs, there isn't anything as wonderful for me as the look of sheer bliss on his face when Muggle and I are running together:



Just happy to be out playing with me!! (Photo by Matt Drobnik)

Muggle is keeping guard over me right now as I work at my computer. He stares out the window and lets me know when strangers walk by across the street. I think he might also be looking our for "the biscuit lady" and "the biscuit man." A couple who live in the neighborhood carry biscuits when she goes for her morning walk and he for his run. Muggle has learned to time our walks to their routine. On a good day, he can meet Joanne once on her walk and Michael twice on his run.

He's a funny, funny dog.

While I am truly sorry that you can't have the cutest or funniest dog out there since he's mine, I know every one of our pets have their own unique qualities and, while not THE cutest, rhey're all pretty darn cute too. What makes your pet the best?




Muggle with his best-bud, Dagan, getting ready to root for their team.



December 5, 2009. The first photo we saw of Muggle...and decided to adopt him.

Dec. 12, 2009. Muggle's first night with us...after some grooming and neutering.
Looks like a completely different dog, doesn't he? And completely different from what he looks like now, too!