FREE BOOKS? Oh Yeah!

Well, I'm returning for a brief bout of self-promotion. The down-side is, it's self-promotion. The up-side? That means you all  have the chance to win FREE BOOKS!

The reason for my brief return to blog-ville and the book giveaway is to announce and promote the release, at long last, of The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Dogs.



The Un-Familiar, by Lynne M Hinkey,
published by Casperian Books.
Available July 1, 2016
 

I started this promotion yesterday (6/22) on Facebook with this post:

ONLY 10 DAYS UNTIL THE JULY 1 RELEASE OF THE UN-FAMILIAR: A TALE OF CATS AND GODS.

To prepare, I'll be posting a brief interview with different characters here (on my FB author page) each day between now and then. Stop by, meet them, and see what they have to say.

Then head over to my website at www.lynnehinkey.com and send me a message from the Contact page to be entered into a drawing to win a FREE copy of one of my books (of your choosing): Marina Melee, Ye Gods! A Tale of Gods and Demons, or The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Gods. I'll select one winner each day. Please share widely so everyone has a chance to enter/win!

Yesterday, I posted the interview with Señora Milagros, and today's interview is with Carmen del Toro. Both of those are below in this post. I'll copy this contest information along with a new character interview in a new blog posts each day, so be sure to come back, read up on your favorite characters from Ye Gods! and meet a few new members of The Un-Familiar cast. Then send me a message from my website to enter. Ten days, ten chances to win--so be sure to go back every day between now and next Friday!

Here's the schedule of interviews:
6/22 Señora Milagros Hernan -- eccentric woman reputed to be a witch; she's ready to retire from her real job as familiar to a god
6/23 Carmen del Toro -- homeless woman with a tragic past and Milagros' apprentice who will be taking her place
6/24  Kiki Cristatello -- a college freshman at 16 with a much-coveted work-study position in the climate research center. She's just gotten over her dog Muggle's death and her belief that she's a witch...or has she?
6/25  Captain Eddie Corredor -- promoted to police captain for discovering that the mysterious chupacabra that had been terrorizing the island two years ago was really just the mayor in disguise
6/26  Rafi Bishop Soto -- Eddie's compañero/pareja, with a past as tragic as Carmen's
6/27  Jack Halliman -- best-selling author of the Franz Henle murder mystery series. His last novel ventured into the paranormal, specifically, the chupacabra, much to his fans' dismay
6/28  Dr. Joe Raines -- the new oceanography professor specializing in climate science with an uncanny ability to always be in the thick of the storm
6/29  Rev Aurelio Peña -- a famous televangelist whose comforting prosperity theology has amassed him a wide following. He and Dr Raines have a long-running animosity, given their opposing world-views and goals. Oh, and that thing with that woman from their past...that, too
6/30 Chewy aka the dog-god of Mercy, aka the chupacabra -- he's back and up to more mischief. Or should I say SHE is up to no good? These damn pronouns...so confusing when dealing with a god who can be anything he-she-it wants to be.

While none of these characters wanted their photos included, here's a collage of the actors who I think would play them in the movie version of The Un-Familiar.

  And now, on to the interviews.

From 6/22

Introducing Señora Milagros Isabela Hernán de Santiago

Today I have the pleasure of introducing Señora Milagros Isabela Hernán de Santiago. As you may recall, Señora Milagros is reputed to be a witch in the small town of Rincón, Puerto Rico, where she lives. It's not difficult to understand that, given her rather eccentric look. She favors flamboyant, flowing kaftans and scarves, and an armful of jangling bangles. As bestselling author Jack Halliman noted when he first met her, she looked like a cross between two old sitcom characters, Endora and Mrs. Roper.

LMH: Welcome, Señora Milagros. Can you please briefly introduce yourself: name, age, job, hobbies?

Señora Milagros: Thank you, dear. It's a pleasure to be here talking about myself. As you've mentioned, my name is Señora Milagros Isabela Hernán de Santiago and I am...wait, I have to think a moment...I'm quite mature. Let's leave it at that. I am the familiar to the god of Mercy, better known to most people as the chupacabra. That is both my job and my hobby. If you know that little rapscallion at all, you know he keeps me quite busy with his antics, so I don't have much time for anything else.

LMH: Can you explain to our readers what exactly a familiar is?

Señora Milagros: Oh, yes! I'd love to clarify. Humans get so tripped up by vocabulary, twisting and turning meanings around until no one understands anything. They got familiars, witches, and cats all jumbled, making cats the familiars of witches, but really, many familiars choose the form of a cat, either in their active life or retirement, so the familiars ARE the cats, and we ended up with the reputation of witches. We all know why that is: because anything humans don't understand, they attribute to magic, one way or another.

The truth is, familiars were created as assistants to the gods. We're like guardian angels. We help when our god needs a bit more power, and provide guidance and protection for him as he grows in strength. We protect our charge when they are weak and vulnerable, and help them to achieve their full power. Because the amount of power they may eventually wield could be excessive, we also hinder them from overreaching, regulating their power if needed. You mentioned Jack Halliman in your introduction--I do adore the Jack Halliman, don't you?--Jack had a wonderful analogy for what I do. I am the god's agent.

 

LMH: Speaking of the god, at the end of Ye Gods!, he'd sacrificed  himself to save Jack's dog, Hanna, and you and Carmen were going into your dormant phase to wait for his return. Since you're here, I guess the chupacabra has returned, but why are you here? Weren't you supposed to retire?

Señora Milagros: (clearing her throat and squirming in her seat a bit) Yes, well, that didn't go quite as planned. Did it? Between that hurricane, Carmen disappearing, and all sorts of other gods appearing on the island, well...you'll have to read The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Gods to find out what happened there, won't you?

  

And today's (6/23) interview with Carmen del Toro:

Introducing Carmen del Toro

 

You may remember Carmen del Toro as the young homeless woman from Ye Gods! Carmen's past is filled with trauma that few can imagine: she witnessed her family's murder, at the hands of her father, and her father's death at the mouth of her childhood dog, Paco. After spending nine years in a state run mental hospital, Carmen was kicked out to the street when she turned 18. Still, she managed to survive living in the forests of western Puerto Rico for ten years before learning the truth about herself, her dog, and the "witch" who has been watching over her all this time. Carmen has joined me for lunch and this interview.

LMH: Welcome, Carmen. Thank you for joining us. Can you please briefly introduce yourself and tell us a bit about your background?

Carmen (eyes flitting around the room, fingers knotting and unknotting): Um, hola, um, my name is Carmen del Toro and I guess I'm the new familiar to the dog...er, are you going to eat those chips?

LMH: Here, you can have them. So, how about your back---

Carmen: How about that soda? And if you're not going to eat the crust...?

LMH: Go ahead, finish. I'll wait.

•  
•  
•  

Carmen: Um-kay...done. What did you want to know?

 

LMH: Tell us a bit about how you became a familiar.

Carmen: Well, as Señora Milagros explained, there are three tests to becoming a familiar. The first one is that you have to be born with the predisposition. Then, you have to get through your teens with your belief in magic still intact. The third test is to make it through your twenties still believing.

LMH: Those don't sound much like tests. Can you explain a little bit more how that works?

Carmen: The genetics part is luck of the draw. A lot of people are born with the potential to evolve into familiars. I guess because so few make it through the next two tests so they have to make sure there are a lot to pick from so some survive. The second test, where most prospective familiars fail, comes from peer pressure. Belief in magic is an innate feature of sentient beings, but experience destroys it. When puberty hits, the desire to fit in takes over. Señora Milagros told me most teens deny their beliefs to be cool. Those who don't, pass the second test. I was luckier than most. Since I spent my teens in the hospital, I had lithium instead of peer pressure.

I didn't have much of a chance for the third test either. For most would-be familiars, that comes in their twenties, when people settle down to careers and family. All that bill-paying, keeping up the house, going to work makes it difficult to believe in magic. I was lucky that I lived in the forest so never had to worry about those things. I feel bad for those who lose all the magic in their life that way. I think it must hurt when belief turns to wishful thinking about what-could-have-beens. Very few pass this final test. Some of those who make it that far still carry a remnant of belief deep inside them, but their reservations disqualify them from familiarity.

LMH: Interesting. So what happens to those who still have some remnant of that belief in magic?

Carmen: They become writers and artists, actors and actresses, or movie producers. You know, trying to pretend they still have some magic left.

LMH: You mean, since I'm a writer, I might have been--

Carmen: Por favor, chica. All familiars are creative, it's true, but don't think that's the same as all creative people being familiars. Now, I guess we'll never know, will we? Pobrecita.

LMH: Oh, well, um, thank you for spending some time with us today, Carmen. I'm sure we all look forward to seeing what happens to you in the future.

 
Carmen: Yes, now, about that dessert you promised?


Thank you all for stopping by today. Now be sure to head over to my website's contact page and send a note to automatically be entered into today's drawing! (Don't worry--no one will see your return contact info--the page sends an email directly to me. I'm the only one who sees it, and I'm the only one who will contact you. I don't share your private info with anyone else.)

Congratulations to Connie Denison, yesterday's drawing winner!

Guest Blogger: Author Bob Sanchez

Today, I have the great pleasure of hosting author Bob Sanchez here at "Random Thoughts." Bob is the very talented author of the novels Little Mountain, Getting Lucky, and When Pigs Fly--all three could be considered mysteries, but each with its own unique flavor. The first is more psychological thriller, the second an action-packed, traditional detective story, and the last one (his first novel, When Pigs Fly), a comic crime caper.  
 
Come on in and get to know Bob a little better.

Bob Sanchez, Author of the novels
Little Mountain, Getting Lucky, and When Pigs Fly
(Photo courtesy of B Sanchez) 

Given the maxim, "Write what you know," how has your life prepared you to write such intriguing murder mysteries like Getting Lucky and Little Mountain? 



 Little Mountain, with
Detective Sambeth Long 

Both novels are set primarily in Lowell, Massachusetts, a gritty burg that gave America the likes of Jack Kerouac. I lived nearby for three decades, walked its streets, ate in its ethnic diners, explored its network of mills and canals. For Little Mountain in particular, I read a dozen books on the Cambodians’ humanitarian disaster and spoke with Cambodian refugees. My wife and I had sponsored a Cambodian family, one of thousands who settled in Lowell. So that was an experience I just had to use, though Little Mountain is complete fiction.

 

Mind you, I’ve been advised that Little Mountain is more thriller than mystery, as the villain’s identity isn’t hard to figure out.

You have great character names. Where do you find them?



When Pigs Fly, with
Mack Durgin, Diet Cola, and
Poindexter

When I was a kid, a neighborhood bully named Mike Durgin used to terrorize me. (It helped him that I was a coward.) When I remembered him a few years ago, his name seemed cool. Other names are usually just what pop into my head, as long as they aren’t in the local phone book. Getting Lucky was going to star Mack Durgin, but the guy turned out to have a different background, so I scrambled for a new name. Being dead, Henry Clay and Daniel Webster didn’t object to my borrowing their last names to create – wait for it – Clay Webster. My favorite name is Poindexter, literally the first one that came to mind.  Hopefully, it’s not too obvious a name for a young Tohono O’Odham girl to give to her pet javelina.

In the movie version of your novels, who gets the roles of: Mack Durgin and Diet Cola? Clay Webster and Bonita Esquivez? Sam Long?

If he were still alive, Pete Postlethwaite for either Durgin or Webster. Maybe María Conchita Alonso for Bonita Esquivez, François Chau (from Lost) for Sam Long, John Goodman for Diet Cola. He’d have to put on weight, though.

Can we expect any more adventures for Mack Durgin?

Getting Lucky, with
PI Clay Webster

Mack is lost in the desert somewhere, but I’m hoping to get him back.  But I’m working with Clay Webster on a new story set in Lowell.

Best piece of writing advice you've ever received?
Ass in chair.

Tell us about your writing muse.

My muse and I are not speaking to each other.

Omigod, where can I get Bob’s books?

http://bitly.com/bobsanchez. Thank you for asking.



Thanks for joining us today, Bob! We're all looking forward to Clay Webster's next adventure.

Finding the Baby in the Bathwater

Sometimes, we have to know when to throw out the bathwater. For me, that time is now.

Throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
(Image from Phrases.org.UK)

I'm working on The Un-familiar, the next book in the Chupacabra Stories trilogy (Ye Gods! A Tale of Dogs and Demons, The Un-Familiar: A Tale of Cats and Gods, and Ye Goddess! A Tale of Dogs and Cats.) When I wrote Ye Gods!, I hadn't planned to write a sequel, or a trilogy for that matter. But when I finished and moved on, started writing a new novel, the characters from Ye Gods! kept interfering. Milagros and Carmen in particular, wouldn't stop whispering their stories in my ear.

Let me tell you how hard it is to write one thing with someone whispering something completely different the whole time.

I finally gave in. The Old Putters became a short story (for now) and appeared as Golf Goes On at Infective Ink and I got to work telling what happened to Milagros after the chupacabra, aka the god, aka Muggle, Paco, the dog, etc. went away.

The outlining process energized me. I know where this story is heading, I know the main plot points and how the characters interact, and I know all the returning characters really well. Some exciting and interesting new characters have entered the mix to stir things up, too.

My original outline for The Un-familiar.

I thought Marina Melee was complex, until I plotted out Ye Gods! I thought Ye Gods! was complex until I plotted The Un-Familiar. When I started writing, I knew this book would require me to move to a whole new level as an author. I felt up to the task.

I'm at about 50,000 words and have been for six months. I hit the wall of doubt. Is this working? Am I going in the right direction? Too much backstory? Not enough? I believe in my story wholeheartedly, but worry that it needs a more skilled writer to tell it properly. Can I become that writer?

Me, tearing my hair out in frustration over not being
able to capture on paper what I see in my head.

I've rewritten and revised these 50,000 words a few times now. I'm still excited by the story. I know, when finished, it's going to be my best work so far. I also know it isn't that right now. I haven't been able to put my finger on the flaw, and with 50,000 words invested, I hadn't been ready to call it quits just yet, but have been considering I might be better off starting over.

This weekend, I read Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane. There it was--the magic I was missing. That's what I needed--to keep the magic and get rid of the rest. I now know what I have to do. I have to find the magic. I have to pull the baby out of the bathwater and get rid of the parts that are mucking it up.

I don't need to throw out my whole story. The magic is in there, but I've buried it in words and word counts, in explanations and backstory. Today, I'm going in search of the baby in all that bathwater. For the first time in months, I'm excited about The Un-Familiar again, thanks Neil Gaiman's magic.

LESSONS FROM COMIC-CON

My first Comic-Con in San Diego surpassed even the exceedingly high expectations I'd built in my mind for the ultimate in nerdvana. Celebrities, elaborate costumes, camaraderie, and superheroes. Comic-Con has it all. What surprised me were the inspiring sessions for writers, and the lessons Comic-Con can teach us all, writers and fans. Here's what I learned.

Lesson 1. EMBRACE THE COSTUME YOU WEAR. Comic-Con teems with costumed superheroes, villains, cartoon characters, and superstars that play (or voice) them in the movies, all proudly embracing their role and their fandom.

Matt, in his photographer costume, makes friends.

Whatever costume you choose to wear, for Halloween, Comic-Con, or life, embrace it fully, immerse yourself in the character, and become it.

For me, that's about embracing me as a writer, unapologetically and without an asterisk* and footnotes (* well, I'm a marine scientist, or I was, now I teach, and I write on the side. I've had two novels published, but no bestsellers or anything, just with a small publishing house in Sacramento, but I hope to someday be a real writer...)

Just as I embraced scientist-Lynne and professor-Lynne, I need to fully embrace author-Lynne. I'm proud of my work and have every intention to continue it. I might not be paying the bills with it yet, but very few authors do early in their careers, if ever. The costume I've chosen is that of a writer, an author. It's what I do and who I am. That I'm teaching, doing research, or consulting to help me afford to be a writer doesn't make me less of one. My name might not be well known now, but you never know what the future will bring. And so...

Lesson 2. BE NICE TO EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THE MASK. Lots of celebrities were fans and geeks trolling the Comic-Con exhibit halls before they became famous (as someday, I hope to be!) The fan-boy/girl costume is still part of who they are, but getting around is a bit more complicated now, so they don a different outfit to hide--and continue to get their geek on. Peter Jackson roamed the exhibit halls as a court jester, Daniel Radcliffe and Maisie Williams donned Spiderman masks, and who knows how many other celebs were out rubbing elbows with the rest of us under the cover of Cosplay.

Peter Jackson in a jester costume (from his website)

Daniel Radcliff as Spiderman (from thewire.com)

How horrible would it be to get boorish or rude to a Cosplayer only to discover they were your favorite actor or actress? Why would that be any more horrible than being rude and boorish to anyone at all?

Not that I ever try to be rude. I'm from upstate New York--we talk to strangers all the time, not to be rude, but because we're friendly (and maybe don't recognize boundaries.) I struck up a lot of conversations with strangers in line, people sitting next to me, and, at a Random House reception for their authors at the San Diego Library, with a man who was standing by himself.

We had a lot in common: He was a writer, too! And his first book is coming out soon. We talked about how hard it is to find time to write around having another job. Turns out, his other job is also writing--but like a 9-5 sort, so he had to write his debut book around that. "So what do you write for your job?" I asked. "I write for television," he (very modestly) replied. "Oh, how interesting! What sort of television things do you write for?" "This show, maybe you've heard of it, The Big Bang Theory."

At which point I prostrated myself to my hero and bowed, humbled to be in the presence of a talented wordsmith like Eric Kaplan. But he was there, at his publisher's reception, not as the Big Bang writer, but as author of his first book, Does Santa Exist? That was the costume he wore that evening, downplaying his superstar-writer-of-the-best-show-on-television role to fully play this new role. Wow. Wow. Still a little (lot) star struck here.

Another, equally good reason to be nice to everyone (if you need a reason other than because it's the right thing to do), is because it really is a small world. I'm not sure which is smaller: the geek world, the writing world, or the island world. But they all collided at Comic-Con. The very first session I attended, Wonderbook: Writers on Creativity and Inspiration (with the book's author, Jeff Vandermmer, and Wonderbook contributors Lev Grossman, Charles Yu, Anina Bennett, and Paul Guinan) was moderated by Ann VanderMeer. As Ann read her own bio (editor for Tor Books, Hugo Award winning fiction editor for her work at Weird Tales, founder of BuzzCity Press...) I wanted to go into hero-worship, prostrate and bow mode, but I refrained. As she was leaving, I modestly and discretely told her how very much I enjoyed the session. I even held myself back from disturbing her for a round of gawking and hero-worshipping when I later saw her at lunch.

 

Wonderbook, by Jeff VanderMeer

After posting a pic of the panel to Facebook, a friend from St. Thomas days commented, "Hey! That's my friend Ann. Tell her I say hello." Turns out, Ann had lived in the VI, and we have a mutual friend...I had a valid reason to go up and gawk, er, I mean talk with her (and get her and Jeff to autograph my copy of Wonderbook.). Alas, by the time I discovered that connection, she'd left.

It's a small world, and you never know who's behind the mask, whether it's covering their face or their face just stays behind the scenes while their work does the talking. Best to be nice to everyone. No matter how famous you are...

 

Lesson 3: STAY HUMBLE, EVEN WHEN YOU GET CRAZY-FAMOUS. Clearly, lots and lots of very famous folks were running around Comic-Con. I can imagine constantly being flocked by screaming fans, hounded for autographs and photos, can be taxing. But, that sort of goes with the territory, doesn't it? Worldwide recognition means that you might have to change costumes or cover your famous face to do what you used to do when you were just a wannabe.

 

The importance of remaining, if not humble, at least not an asshole, was really driven home by the polar opposite responses and behavior of two authors to their celebrity: one threw it around like a shield to simultaneously draw attention to himself and fight it off. He made a point of complaining in every interview and and panel he appeared in, about how much he misses being able to walk the exhibit halls or go out in public any more. While lesson #1 is to embrace the costume, there might be times when you have to take it off, especially if your outfit is tied to your fame. This particular author has a costume that is quite recognizable. He appears in almost all publicity pics, cover-jacket photos, and events like Comic-Con in a distinct and instantly recognizable outfit (I'm thinking of dressing as him next year.) He could easily remove his costume and become one of the many older nerds strolling around the Con. Instead, he chose to whine about his fame.

Conversely, new author (but already a star) Evangeline Lilly (Lost, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug) bubbled with enthusiasm, and clearly enjoyed interacting with fans. She reveled in her writer-costume. Her excitement over her children's book, The Squickerwonkers, was contagious, and the story behind her becoming an author, inspiring. She chose to self-publish because she wanted control of her vision, and she worried her Hollywood fame would lead to people thinking, "she got that book contract because she's famous; a ghost-writer must be behind it"; or, attributing it to the cliched, superstar  self-indulgent "passion project." But this truly is her passion, and has been since she first wrote The Squickerwonkers when she was 14-years-old. She read it to her mother, then stuffed it in a drawer. Her mother has hounded her to get it published ever since. Twenty-years later, she pulled it out, polished it up, got one of the artists at WETA (the company behind the Hobbit) to collaborate on illustrations (she wanted a collaborator to help her fulfill her vision of the tale, not impose their own), and she self-published it. A year later, Titan Books approached her and she got a contract. She gushed, blushed, and grinned ear-to-ear about achieving her lifelong goal to become an author. And she encouraged everyone in the audience to pursue their dreams, too.

 

The Squickerwonkers, by Evangeline Lilly

Getting her autograph, I brazenly slipped my card onto the table. "Look, I'm an author, too!" I said. "You don't have to take this, I just wanted to show you because I understand--I feel the same way about my books." She insisted on taking the card, congratulated me, and seemed genuinely pleased to meet a "fellow-author." Wow. Wow. Wow wow. THAT'S the kind of famous I want to be.

 

Me (the one looking like an orange Oompa-Loompa)
with Evangeline Lilly and her children's book, The Squickerwonkers.

Lesson 4: IT'S OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR COSTUME. Like Evangeline Lilly removing her actress costume and wearing her new, author outfit, Zachary Quinto of Star Trek and Heroes fame (he played Spock in the former and Sylar in the latter) changed out of his celebrity costume. Instead of Zachary Quinto, actor, he participated in a panel as a producer for the upcoming documentary series, "The Chair: One Script, Two Visions, One Winner." As with Eric Kaplan and Evangeline Lilly, the costume he chose to wear and embrace differed from the one that he's best known for.

He didn't hesitate, didn't fall back into what's probably a familiar role (star!), but instead, became this new persona, Zach Quinto, producer. In that costume, his job is to promote the show and the two new directors who star and compete in it. While it was clear many people attended the panel to see the actor Zachary Quinto, he deflected attention from himself to the stars of this panel (directors Shane Dawson and Anna Martemucci). It was also clear he'd taken measures to downplay that "other" persona--the session was away from the convention center in a nearby hotel, in a tucked-away room, and his name was buried in the session description. Attendance suggests the ploy to not be "famous Zach Quinto" succeeded. He also snuck out early while a short clip from the show played, leaving the audience to talk with the real focal points of the panel. While disappointed at the lack of opportunity for further gawking and hero-worshipping, I found myself truly interested in the project. His passion for this new role, like Evangeline Lilly's, was contagious. I'm looking forward to following "The Chair" this fall to see the outcome.

The screenwriter, directors, producer (that's Zach Quinto!), an actress, and the director
of, "The Chair: One script, two visions, one winner."

It takes a lot of courage to move out of our comfort zones. But, sometimes, it's the best thing for us. It's liberating to be someone else, to challenge ourselves to try new things. It's not only okay to change costumes, but it's what lets us grow and pursue our dreams.

That brings me to the last lesson, and a theme threaded throughout Comic-Con:

Lesson 4: FAIRY TALES CAN COME TRUE. From a panel of WONDERBOOK writers and artists talking about creativity and inspiration, to a movie star-turned-children's book-author, to aspiring directors, one message was loud and clear everywhere at Comic-Con: You can make your dreams come true. Don't be afraid to pursue your passion, whether it's writer, artist, actor, singer, animator, costumer, Cosplayer, producer, or all of the above, or anything else.

Comic-Con not only tells participants that, but abounds with opportunities--pitch sessions, employment stations, interviews, new and amateur film debuts, and contests--to get you started. In every session I attended, at least one or more panelist said, "I've been in your seat, there, looking up at Comic-Con presenters and dreaming about being in this seat one day. Now I'm here. It could be you next."

In a world where it often seems like our dreams are destined to be nothing but a fantasy, how amazing is the message that you can do this. Don't let your current costume dictate what you can or can't be in the future. No one downplayed the hard work involved, but they made it clear that fairy tales can come true.  

 

For more pics from Comic-Con 2014, head over to Matt's Flickr site.

So you want me to review your book...

Dear Author/Agent/Publicist,

You've asked me to review your book.

Really?

Have you looked at my tagline? You know, the one right up there in the header on my homepage, splashed across my business cards, and the first line of my bio? Let me refresh your memory:

Lynne M. Hinkey: Author, Marine Scientist, Curmudgeon.

 

If that doesn't give you pause, perhaps you should look up "curmudgeon" in the dictionary. Go on. I'll wait.

That shirt says it all.

 

Still want to send your book my way?

I know what you're thinking: but look at the first word in her tag line. She's an author so she'll know how tough the publishing world can be.

Let me dispel any misconceptions about my empathy that first word may suggest. Yes, I am an author, so yes, I do understand.

Here's what I understand:

I understand that a few typos can slip into a manuscript even after:

• two runs through the critique group;

• 2-3 beta readers;

• the professional editor (that didn't come cheap);

• the publisher's editor (if you have a publisher) or another pass by a few select and nitpicky readers if you don't; and,

• a final review of the galleys (where you find some errors, correct them, find some more, correct them, and make a very, final, last-ever-before-printing change to the galley).

That's the process I went through with my own novels only to open that first, hot-off-the-press copy and find a few errors. I understand mistakes happen despite our best efforts.

I understand the ensuing mortification that comes from thinking someone will suspect I'm an idiot or that I was so anxious to publish I didn't bother to proofread. 

Mostly, I understand if you haven't gone through something close to that degree of editing, your book isn't ready to be published.

I know firsthand, the agony of querying, waiting, and accumulating rejection letters. And I now understand those were often wake-up calls indicating I wasn't ready. I needed time to learn more about my chosen craft, hone my skill, and evolve.  

I understand working at one's writing craft for long, difficult years, squeezing in the time to write around other commitments (the ones that pay the bills). I've had my ego, swollen by years of being told what a good writer I am, trampled by writing groups and classes full of other "good" writers. I understand that good isn't good enough, and the work needed to go from good, to better, to maybe being ready to publish. I know it doesn't happen by magic, but through effort.

I know the resilience it takes to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard)  once again, after you've poured your heart into a novel only to have your queries met by the deafening silence of non-responses. I also know the shame of looking back at those early efforts ("Did I really dare send this unrefined, adolescent endeavor out into the world?") I know about those premature ejaculates shoved into the dark recesses of a drawer somewhere, the ones that serve as lessons in humility, the inexpert, heavy-handedness of the tyro  writ large across the page. They buoy us with the solid evidence of progress, showing how far our writing has come, and they prod us to keep improving by reminding us that we thought our writing was good enough then, too.

Yes, dear author, as a fellow writer, I am fully cognizant of your plight. I understand if you haven't gone through something close to that degree of anguish, failure, then overcome it and tried again, harder, better armed, better able---your aren't ready to release your work out into the world.

As a curmudgeon, I jealously guard my limited and precious reading and writing time. If you haven't invested the time and effort needed to develop your craft beyond its raw, novice stages, and to ensure your work is the best you're capable of, why should I?

I see a few of you are still reading, perhaps only in preparation of leaving nasty comments below. If I haven't frightened you away and you'd still like to request I review your book, here's what you can and can't expect.
 

Unless you've reached the pinnacle of your writing abilities and have produced a masterpiece, don't expect five-stars. Besides author and curmudgeon, the marine scientist part of me is a college professor. I equate stars with grades and here's a breakdown of my grading system.

A = 5 stars. Exceptional. Everything about this book is close to perfect. There are fewer than 4 errors per 100 pages (see, I'm sympathetic), well-developed scenes, characters, and plot, no plot holes, appropriate pacing for the genre, and (as appropriate) it meets the expected conventions of the genre.

B = 4 stars. Above average. While not perfect, this book has few errors (no more than 6 or 7 per hundred pages), is engaging, well-developed and executed, meeting the conventions of the genre (as appropriate), although some component of it (writing, setting, characters, or plot) falls short.

C = 3 stars. Average. This is the grade the majority of students will earn, and the rating the vast majority of books deserve. They're good. Not great. Self-published authors who have edited, revised, rewritten, and re-edited, should expect this rating, meaning your book is just as good as the majority of books out there.

If your book earns a D (below average or severely flawed) or an F (utterly fails to meet the minimum level of quality expected of a published work) don't worry. I won't embarrass you with a bad review because I'm not going to read very much of it. (No, I don't have the time to tell you why.)

If my refusal to give out 5-star ratings willy-nilly offends, well, I'm probably not the reviewer for you. Still thinking of asking me for a review? Check that dictionary definition of curmudgeon one more time. You also might want to read this post to get a better understanding of my thoughts on negative reviews.

If you are a sensitive soul and this post has made you question not only if you want me to review your book, but even if you're cut out to be an author ("If I can't have five-stars, I won't do it!"), look at your favorite books on amazon. I'll bet they don't have all 5-star reviews. Let's take a look.

Here are some books that I'd give 5-stars (so if your book is on a par with these, expect 5-stars, otherwise, don't.)

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams: 1266 reviews (886-5*, 201-4*, 84-3*, 42-2*, and 53-1*)

Lamb by Christopher Moore: 1296 reviews (984-5*, 193-4*, 55-3*, 27-2*, and 37-1*)

Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett: 171 reviews (95-5*, 51-4*, 17-3*, 8-2*, and 0-1*)

Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins: 147 reviews (103-5*, 21-4*, 11-3*, 8-2*, and 4-1*)

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle: 1553 reviews (998-5*, 299-4*, 117-3*, 52-2*, and 87-1*)

 

Those numbers should show you two things: first, just because you wrote a book doesn't mean you get all 5-star ratings. Yes, it's a big accomplishment, kudos to you for sticking with it, but the ratings aren't "attaboys" (or attagirls) for your writerly endurance, but an indication of the quality of that effort. Not everyone gets a trophy for participating. Second, reviews are subjective. I'd give all the books above five stars, but not everyone agrees. When you don't get a 5-star review, don't get too fussed. When you do, keep your ego in check. It's only one person's opinion.

So, back to the beginning. You've asked me to review your book. Still interested?

I don't guarantee you five stars. You'll have to earn those. I do guarantee I'll give an honest and thoughtful review.

Sincerely,

~Lynne M. Hinkey

Author, marine scientist, curmudgeon
and book reviewer at Underground Book Reviews
and the Internet Review of Books

 

 

THE WRITING PROCESS BLOG HOP

The Writing Process Blog Hop is an author-run series, in which indie authors share a bit about their writing process, then pass the buck to the next guy. I’m following Amy Biddle, one of the co-founders of Underground Book Reviews and author of The Atheist's Prayer and Deb O'Neil at Writing Against the Wind. 

What am I working on?

I'm writing the sequel to Ye Gods! I'd originally planned to hold off on this, write something else first to wait and see how Ye Gods! does and if readers are interested in a sequel. No point in continuing the story if no one wants to read it, right? I'd started a fantasy/magical realism buddy-story about 4 long-time friends who golf together every day at the Charleston Municipal Golf Course, but the characters from Ye Gods! wouldn't shut up long enough for me to really get any traction on Old Putters, so I set it aside. I do have a short story, "Golf Goes On," based on the opening to Old Putters that's been accepted by Fear and Trembling, although I don't have a publication date for it yet.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

While there are a lot of novels that employee magical realism, I think the Caribbean setting in Ye Gods! adds a layer of authenticity to it. There's something about the tropics that makes us believe magic can happen there. I hope my experiences living in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands bring those settings and characters to life for the reader. In Ye Gods! the exotic setting lets people's imaginations run a little more wild than they would in suburbia. It lets the reader suspend disbelief, be more open to the magical quality of it all: There could be a monster lurking in the dense tropical vegetation. Those flickering lights could be a UFO. Those mysterious noises could be the chupacabra.

Waterfall on a Caribbean island (Dominica):
magic could happen here.

While Marina Melee doesn't have the magical realism component, I think the change in George over the course of the novel is due to that magical nature of the Caribbean. Most people think "oooh, tropical island---exotic, paradise," and become captivated, as George did. For people who actually live on tropical islands, the setting isn't "exotic," it just is, it's part of your daily life. Not that you don't recognize and appreciate the beauty, but it's background noise. You go about your daily life the way everyone else does, going to work, to school, the grocery store. You have to pay the bills, think about the cistern running out of water, getting the kids to school on time through the traffic. Throwing someone like George, who arrives in the "ooh, ahh" phase of enchantment, right into the work-a-day world of a tropical island, having to navigate a new culture, lends itself to a lot of humor as he adjusts from the idea of "it's all beaches and umbrella drinks" to "I have to pay the bills and supervise my staff."

Life on a tropical island: it really isn't this all the time!

Why do I write what I do?

Some of the best writing advice I've heard comes from Neil Gaiman: "write the story you want to read." (Thus, my working on "The Un-familiar" now, regardless of its eventual marketability.) He tells authors not to chase after the next big thing because no one can predict that. If you write the current "big thing" it won't be big by the time it gets published, unless you rush it to publication which is a big disservice to the craft of writing and a bigger disservice to the reader. I write what I enjoy reading: quirky satires that, on the surface might just be a fun story, but have some hidden depth that can make the reader think and laugh and look at the world in a different way. I love the magical realism of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Tom Robbins, Christopher Moore, Neil Gaiman, and Terry Pratchett. They're all masters at making the magical real and the real magical. While I don't think my writing is comparable to any of theirs yet, it's what I strive for.

How does my writing process work?

I'm not one of those diligent and self-disciplined authors who sits down and writes every day. I have to know what I'm going to write, otherwise I end up with gibberish that I'm going to delete anyway. Once I have the main idea of a novel, the "what if..." question and know a few characters, I spend a lot of time thinking about the story and "writing it" in my head. I think out the beginning, ending, and a few way points to get me there while I'm driving, swimming, walking the dogs, doing anything but writing. (Turns out, I make a lot of progress on the plot while doing yardwork, but don't tell my husband that or he'll use it against me!)

Once I have that, I make a plot-line or outline. For Marina Melee, I did it with post-it notes, index cards, and a bulletin board. Now I've moved on to a big roll of butcher paper and colored markers (see the photo below for the first outline of Ye Gods!) I link character interactions and related sub-plots with arrows, color-code characters, and run a timeline along the top of the scroll to figure out how I'm going to get from here (the beginning) to there (the end), hit the way points, and create and connect the dots in between. Then I start writing. Until I get to about chapter 3. Then I go back, re-do the timeline and write a synopsis. Yes, the dreaded synopsis--but I find it really helps for me to write a "pre-completion synopsis". When I write this pre-story-synopsis, I don't have the pressure of knowing "this is what's going to sell my novel to, or get it rejected by, an agent." This is for me. Do I know my story well enough to tell what my story is about in just a few pages? If I can't do that, I go back to the pondering stage to figure out what I'm missing, then redraw the storyline, before I get back to writing.

Mapping out Intersecting Plot Lines and a Timeline for "The Un-familiar."

If that sounds like a lot of work going on before I really make any meaningful progress, you're right, but to me, it seems like a lot less work than forcing myself to write every day just to meet a word count, then throwing those words out, or writing "the end" knowing I'm going to go back and tear it all apart in rewrites. That doesn't mean I don't do a lot of editing and some rewriting, but by the time I even start, I've rewritten it in my head enough times that I'm fairly confident the story I write is the one I wanted to tell.

Following me next week on the #mywritingprocess tour are:

Sophie Schiller, the author of Spy Island

and

 Jo Anne V Simson, author of Korea, Are You at Peace? and The God That Says, I Am.

It's My Party and I'll Blog If I Want To!

I wrote a guest blog post on Where Writers Win about my Ye Gods! Book Release Party that I held on Facebook on April 1. Hopefully, by sharing my experience, other authors can throw equally (or more) successful online book launch parties!

For authors looking for helpful resources for marketing, take a look at The Winner Circle at Where Writers Win. Members have access to

• Our vetted and RATED directory of the Best Book Review sites for your genre
• Connections to LIVE Book Clubs
• Indie BOOKSTORES in every state
• Indie and Hybrid PUBLISHER resources
• Private WWW Club Forum
• Free online author marketing TOOLS
• DEALS and STEALS on services and conferences
• TEMPLATES and TUTORIALS

...and much more!

Today is the big day--YE GODS! is here!!

That day has finally come! Ye Gods! A Tale of Dogs and Demons is officially released by Casperian Books today!

Stop by the Facebook Virtual Party celebrating the release and discover some amazing authors who will be joining me to discuss their writing, and be entered to win their books!

The schedule of authors and links to their bios and books is in the previous post, so scroll down to see that.